I Heart Portland

I’ve lived here a year now so I guess that means it’s my town and I love it! Apparently so does the New York Times.

The New York Times: Frugal Portland

If you deliver packages…

you should read this.

http://montastic.blogspot.com/2009/05/letters-to-world.html

IDK My BFF Txts From Last Nite

My new fave website

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Do I Have Swine Flu?

This morning I was greeted by this lovely email from my friend, Kellie.

“I know its been a little scary with this whole swine flu outbreak, and things are starting to get a little stressful, but i wanted to let you know that there is a website out there to help people who are nervous about catching this deadly disease! I think it will really help calm your nerves!!! Don’t worry, most of us are gonna be okay!!! “

http://doihaveswineflu.org/

This is why Kellie and I are friends. Because she too sees the comedy in it all and even if she or I were to fall ill, we’d still be laughing.

This Little Piggy Killed Us All

I’m not too worried about the Swine Flu but I am highly entertained by the media coverage and panic it has caused.

Scientists are still baffled as to what could be causing the flu to pass from pigs to humans…

I’d Like to Point Out

That the top of my blog does say “Pooping on the Poop Deck.”

Ghost Ride the Whip

To understand my appreciation for the latter video in this post, you first must watch my roommate (in the Dodger hat) Ghost Ride the Whip.

Now you can understand why this crazy woman is my hero for pulling off the ultimate Ghost Ride the Whip during a police chase.
WARNING: The three female journalists commentating on this video are horrendous and should be fired.

This Makes Me Smile

Happy Friday!

I’d be Honored

Despite running an Obamaesque campaign, Stephen Colbert will not have a namesake in the form of a room on NASA’s international space station. He will however have this…

MSNBC: NASA names Treadmill after Colbert

I hear intervals are a bitch up there.

The Way I See It

I quite thoroughly enjoy “The Way I See It” quotes on Starbucks cups. I’m not exactly sure why. It could be that I have the attention span of a Jack Russell Terrier on crack and can’t read more than a paragraph without losing interest or that they are just the right dosage of advice and insight but for whatever reason as soon as I grab my grande sugar free vanilla americano with a little room, the first thing I do is read the “The Way I See It” quote. Whoa run on sentence.

I have this secret goal/wish to do something important enough to be quoted on a Starbucks cup. That and have a page on Wikipedia. I know what you are thinking, anyone can have a Wikipedia page. No no, my friend. Creating your own does not count, nor does having your best friend or your mom create one for you.  If your mom is tech savvy enough to create one then congratulations, she is steps ahead of mine.

So, for the last 3 years or so, I have been on a mission to do something worthy of Starbucks and Wiki. I have yet to complete that mission. But fear not! I am practically Tom Cruise, you know, minus the whole crazy Scientology shiz and jumping on Oprah’s couch. Although, come to think of it I do heart Oprah and who knows how I would react if I was invited to sit on her couch. I guess it’s safe to say I’m not above couch jumping. Anyway, back on track. This mission is not impossible and I, like Tom Cruise, will complete it and look sexy the entire time.

As of right now there are two quotes that I am famous for and are in the running for publication:

• “I am waaaay to good to be a stripper but I would take my clothes off for money.”
• “When confronted with the ‘Is this a shirt or a dress?’ dilemma, always err on the side of shirt.”

So next time you are in your neighborhood Starbucks be on the lookout for a quote from yours truly and then be fully prepared not to see it because it will probably be a few years. Thanks for your patience in this matter.